I have been in a blog rut, lately...even a life rut. I am still me. Still doing all of the day in and day out items that need to be checked off of the list, but inside I am questioning. It is strange, because these are the same questions I was asking myself when I turned 30.
At that time, I was really struggling with the fact that I am not the person I imagined I would become when I was younger. I won't bore you with all the details of who I wished to become, but the point is -- I'm not that person, but I still want to be. A few years ago, I just tried to come to terms that "I am who I am" (didn't Popeye say that???). But, deep down, it is still bothering me. I guess I am just feeling inadequate. No, I am not comparing myself to others, just the person in my mind.
Anyway...All of these thoughts are going through my head and I go to the General Relief Society Meeting for our church. I love these meetings! I always come away feeling refreshed and renewed and good about myself. Not this time.
This time I felt overwhelmed. I was depressed to think that I just wasn't doing enough. Even if I was doing it, I was supposed to be the best at it. *sigh*
After pondering all of this for the past couple of weeks, my depressed feeling has lifted (at least, a little). I am realizing that the woman that Sister Beck described in her talk is exactly the person I want to become. I need to become that woman, for myself and for my family. I am thankful that Sis. Beck is led by the Spirit and I feel she is inspired in our behalf, as a Relief Society. Her talk was a call to arms.
"Within the plan of the Lord there are specific things Latter-day Saint women must do because they are daughters of God, chosen to come to the earth at a time which has been called "a very difficult season in the history of the world."
"We learn what He would have us learn, we do what He would have us do, and we become what He would have us become."
I can become what the Savior would have me become. It might be taking me longer than I thought it would to get there, but I can get there.
Sorry this was so serious! I promise to be back later with something much more lighthearted!